Girls who (seemingly) know what they want

Guys often talk about how they like girls who know what they want. Not only that, guys often come up to me and tell me they like me because of that fact.
This always surprises me, because in my experience in,
well,
being me, I feel like I have no fucking clue what I do and don’t want in life or in love.
So why this misguided conclusion?

A girl like me who (apparently) seems to know what she wants, actually comes with a manual. A manual as thick as the fucking phone book (or directory, or what ever the fuck it’s called in English). This manual is based on fear of commitment, fear of loosing freedom and fear of not knowing what we want and actually not knowing what we want.
So to elaborate, these fears are the rules we live by. Rules, as I said, that could form a fucking phone book (yes yes, a directory…).
So when we tell you, no we don’t want to go on a date, ask me again in two weeks. Straight to your face.
Yes this could be perceived as ‘knowing’.
But in reality our minds do this:
“I like him, but do I like him enough to date him, and when I do like him enough, do we start a relationship, I don’t think I want a relationship yet, what if I want to travel for 3 years, I can’t do that in a relationship, but do I want to travel?”.
You might be thinking I’m exaggerating…
I’m not…
Yup some of us are bat shit crazy.
That’s probably why I walk around with a sign on my forehead that says “NOT INTERESTED”.
But somehow that seems to make you suckers even more attracted to me!!!

Don’t worry there is hope.
A very ironic hope.
You know those girls who are really shy and insecure? The ones you guys always complain about, how they never know what they want. The “I don’t know, you decide” girls.
Well here’s the fucking punch line. Those girls know EXACTLY what they want. Cause baby all they really want is you. They’re just to insecure to say it how it is.
If there’s something to decide about whatever or whenever, they want what YOU want, because all THEY want is to make YOU happy so you won’t leave.

But yes, I understand that can get boring after a while. And you want someone who does her own thing. Someone you can chase sometimes, instead of always being chased.
But than don’t fucking complain when this chick is a bigger pain in your ass than you could ever have imagined!
She wants to become her own person before she becomes a “pair”.
This means she is finding out what her calling is. This may take many studies, travels, ups and downs. She will have doubts about the relationship. She will want to do a little TOO much of her own thing to your liking.
But if you go for this kind of girl, the one that tells you straight how it is. The one you can take to your friends and not worry if she’s gonna have a good time. The one your friends actually want there. The one that laughs, dances, sings, wants to try new things and doesn’t care what other people think of her.
Well. Buddy.
Than you’re fucked…

P.S.
I realize I am generalizing women in what I’ve written here. And of course this doesn’t go for all girls of my age.
Of course there are women who have all those qualities and really do know what they want.
I just haven’t met them…

No just kidding, it’s just the ones I have met either have A LOT of life experience for such a young age. Like really, a fucking lot.
OR are in their 40’s… And even some women in their 40’s have no clue what they want!
But here is the upside! The women in there 40’s who DO know what they want, were the girls who were desperately looking for what they want!
The 40 year olds that have no clue, are the ones that didn’t think about it when they were younger.

So if you do decide to stick with them, don’t worry, they will grow up to be strong, independent, loving women, who know exactly what they want.


So yeah…
Good luck with that.

X Gabo

"It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"
—Factotum, 1975 
Charles Bukowski